summer thus far

so, i haven't updated in a while (this is typical), so here goes...

favorite parts of the summer so far (in no particular order):

1. Up.

if you still haven't seen this movie, you need to.  it's wonderful.  i cry.  it's got the biggest heart ever.  *sigh*

2. reading.

i've been at it again since finally finishing Lewis' Space trilogy.  not his best work, but glad to say i've finished it.  as for other great reads:

-The Catcher in the Rye.  wow.  the perfect teenage angst novel.

-To Kill a Mockingbird.  holy crap.  i cried at the end.  well done, Harper.

-currently reading "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy.  i just started it last night and am already 90 pages in.  holy crap.  it's soooo good and dark and depressing and wonderful.  if you've never read it, you should.  i can't wait to finish it.

3. KV

this perpetually stays on my list of favorite parts of my life, of course.  but it was so good to go to camp and hang out with my 6 boys and just see the Lord work on them in various ways (and work on me through them).  Kids' Village has been such a blessing to my walk and i'm excited that my parents get to come see me teach in a couple of weeks!

i suppose that's all i've got for now.  don't expect me to post again for a while.  but then, i think only, like, one-and-a-half people read this thing.  i mean, i don't even read it, so, i can hardly blame you.

alright, so that's summer thus far.

that's how it is.

i really don't have much to say here.

i don't really bloggity-blog much these days. i don't feel like i have anything to say here that i can't say to someone face-to-face @ jupiter house or whatnot.

but i will let you know i'm incredibly happy with how "the year" is going. i'm currently working on may (duh), and hope that it will turn out as great as the other 4 tracks thus far. january was a beast, but i think i just about have it tamed. i listened to the new mix in my car earlier and it sounded good. it's about time.

not sure what i'm going to do with the kids today at work. i think bowling & laser tag. sure, why not?

well...

that's how it is.

weep not, child, weep not, joy comes in the morning. laugh, child, laugh loud. Heaven is not far.

the angels of Jupiter House

last night (3/8/09), i came to Jupiter House to do some reading and writing before meeting up with Sarah.  i noticed when i walked in that my friend Aaron Fair was sitting on one of the couches, so i went over to converse with him.  

as i did so, i took notice of two little girls nearby who were playfully chasing each other and dancing in the area next to the couches.  they were about the same height, looked to be about six years old, and were both dressed in white shirts with blue jean shorts.  one was a white girl with short blonde hair and the other was dark-skinned, and looked a bit Indian, with long dark hair.  

i talked with Aaron for a while and then went and sat down to do some reading.  while reading my Bible, the two little girls came walking over to me, and the darker-skinned one held out a small foam flower sticker to me.  i looked at her and asked, "is this for me?"  she said nothing, but nodded her head a bit solemnly and so i took it.  it was green.  "thanks," i said, "that's my favorite color.  good job!"  

i smiled at them, they looked at each other, looked back at me and smiled.  then they walked away.  i didn't think about this until later, but no one else seemed to take notice of them as they walked by numerous people.  out of the corner of my eyes, i watched as they went back over to the couch area and began to dance/play again.  i did not see when they left.  

i was there for a lot longer.  sarah and i talked and then finally i gathered my things to leave, including the green flower sticker.  i saw that Aaron was still sitting on the same couch, so i went over to tell him goodbye.  i told him about the sticker and how those two little girls had given it to me.  

"what little girls?" he asked.  

"the two who were right over here dancing earlier," i said, pointing next to the couch he was sitting on.  "they were right over here!"  

i described them in detail to him, but he shook his head and said, "i never saw them."  Aaron, who is a volunteer in Kid's Village too, is a pretty observant guy, and not one to jack around with people.  

now, this whole episode was strange for several reasons, of course, but also because when i had told sarah about the two girls earlier, i had joked saying, "maybe they were angels."  well...maybe they were.

i was telling my mom this story the next day, yesterday, and said, "why in the world, if they were angels would they just give me a sticker and leave?  i mean, yeah, it lifted my spirits and made me smile, but i wasn't in a bad mood or suicidal or anything major like that."

i liked my mom's response: "maybe it was just God saying, 'i love you.'"

i don't guess i'll ever know for sure if they were just two random little girls or angels, but i don't guess it really matters.  i'm still trying to decide what to do with the sticker.  i want to put it somewhere where i will see it, so that it will turn my thoughts to Christ and the overwhelming and sometimes hard-to-believe truth that He loves me.

and that, my friends, is the tale of the angels of Jupiter House.

because He lives.

how far God has brought us! and when i say "us," i guess i'm mostly thinking of myself.

it was four years ago that i was back in Denton, and hardly knew anyone. i didn't have a church home at the time, i was dating long distance, and i had just gotten a phone call telling me my grandfather was in the hospital due to his third stroke.

i didn't know then that Denton would become "home" (strictly in the earthly sense, of course), and since then it really seems like life has been one long transition. but i guess that's what living in this vague 20-something age group is all about: transition.

i love my job. i love my church. and, most of all, i love the friends that God has blessed me with these past few years; friends who know my junk, the darkest parts of me and yet still love me. i am so blessed, because, frankly, i don't deserve it. i never was the popular kid growing up, and have always lived in the shadow of my brothers or my parents. and though i love my family, i discover more and more how my identity is found in Christ alone.

i long to do so much. to travel, to romance, to speak in tongues, to heal, to prophecy...oh, to live like Paul and Timothy! and yet if i never do any of those things, i can rest content in my Savior's arms because of where He has brought me to.

there are children who have never heard the Gospel. there are women who endure abuse day after day, suffocated by the thought that their prayers are unheard. there's a guy in the coffee shop struggling and just wishing he had someone to walk beside him in it all.

and when all is said and done and i consider the past and i hope for the future, i am refreshed and comforted by these old words:

because He lives
i can face tomorrow.
because He lives
all fear is gone.
because i know
He holds the future
and life is worth the living
just because He lives.

the great pursuit

so, it's been two months since my last bloggity-blog...

ya know, i used to do a blog a day back in the xanga days, but i find this less satisfying, perhaps because i now prefer to expound my deepest thoughts, desires, etc. in other means (aka face-to-face) rather than through electronic means.

nonetheless, my life and mind has been busy.

Cumberland is going well.  i'm kind of disheartened by the fact that we have had to send 3 kids away recently, but it's for the best, and sometimes that's just one of those things you have to accept.  Saturday was a rough, long, stressful day at work, but it was brightened by a good conversation i had about Jesus with one of the kids i work with who is openly gay and continues to struggle with the death of his grandmother and the absence of his mom in his life.  Jesus is good.

like i told Julian last night, i think about Eternity a lot, and not just because i have it tattooed in Greek and Hebrew on my arm.  i was once terrified of the idea of Eternity, but now it is a reason that i love Christ more and more and it tantalizes me and stirs up in me emotions that drive a pursuit of holiness in Him.  i find it encouraging that Time is fleeting, that one day it will all bleed into Eternity where joy and peace shall never end.  *sigh*  "even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus."  i used to not want Jesus to come back because there were so many things that i wanted to do...but as He makes His desires my own, that has changed.  praise Him, praise Him.

i think about the ministry a lot too as i see it looming in my future.  i've started jotting down some of my thoughts in a Word document on raising up godly children and how ministry should be conducted.  it may eventually turn into a book, but i don't know how interested people will be in it.  although Ming says he'd like to read it, so i guess that counts for something.

i finally finished that true story play i've been adapting for a historical author.  i'm pleased with how it turned out but need to start editing it.  Roy said he enjoyed it too, so i guess i'm on the right track.  it's just a matter now of getting with the book author, editing, and getting the funding to produce it in Dallas.  i want to be a writer so badly and love to tell stories, but my desire to serve God has become stronger than my desire for success, so even if nothing happens, i will sleep in peace with no regrets, worshiping Him through the talents He has given me whether anyone appreciates them or not.

i think about marriage quite a bit, but not as "desperately" as i used to.  Roy predicts i'll be married in the next 2 years, and i'm okay with that.  and i'm also okay with it if i'm not.  truth be told, i am wishy-washy with girls, but He has made me that way for a reason, perhaps so that i will be more patient and thoughtful in waiting for His purpose.  i don't know.  all i know is that in the next few years, i hope that God has blessed me with a wife and that i become the Daddy that i so long to be.  i know it's kinda corny and sad, but i've already started jotting down ideas for names of kids :-)

my heart was stirred Sunday night by Chilli talking about India.  i've thought about going over there for some time now, but i don't know when, as i also want to go back to Reynosa in the spring and desire to also do a mission in Guatemala.  but it was so cool to see pictures of people that God has set on my heart to pray for, especially since God has granted me visions of them (which is CRAZY and new to me).  India just keeps popping up and i don't know what to do about that seeing as i'm already weak in my Spanish skills and Hindi is SUCH a different language.  but then, He is sufficient in my weakness, as i must constantly be reminded.

i'm such an Old Testament fan, but lately the NT has been refreshing and challenging for my soul.  i have struggled lately with my tongue and the desire to tame it more so that i speak life into my sisters and brothers and that i be more accountable for the things that pass my lips and for the things that i teach the children He has entrusted me with at this time of my life.  He has been stressing to me the idea of "unity" through 1 Corinthians, of being wise in the Spirit and testing everything through His all-sufficient wisdom.

so, yeah, i've been rambling for a while now.  maybe i should do this more often so these aren't so long.

anyway, i am constantly reminded that He is my all and that Christ IS

the great pursuit.

things to do after college

1. read a lot of C.S. Lewis

2. sleep more than 3 hours a day

3. spend excessive amounts of time in a coffee shop (while not drinking coffee)

4. get a tattoo

5. establish a "backup" in case you're still single by 28

6. finally get into Harry Potter

apparently, these are my things to do after college.